ADHD can often adversely affect relationships for many reasons, such as increased misunderstandings, frustrations, and sometimes resentment. ADHD often makes it more difficult for both partners in the relationship. Luckily, there are ways to work around these issues, such as the tips listed below.
Understand How ADHD Impacts Your Relationship
ADHD affects everyone differently, but most people experience challenges with distractibility, disorganization, and impulsivity.
Therefore, it is essential to consider which factors may contribute to some of your relationship difficulties, as figuring out the problem is the first step in solving it.
Put Yourself In Each Other's Shoes
If you're the person with ADHD, you may feel like you’re constantly being nagged and criticized, and no matter what you do, it is not good enough to please your partner. You may also have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, common for people with ADHD, which may cause you to feel hurt or rejected when your partner criticizes you.
If you’re the person without ADHD in the relationship, you may feel like you have to take care of everything and that most of the responsibility is on you.
As a result, you may also feel ignored, lonely, underappreciated, and unable to rely on your partner. With this being the case, it is vital to consider how your partner feels while also honoring and validating your feelings.
Communicate
The best way to understand each other’s feelings and put yourself in each other's shoes is to find time to sit and talk openly and honestly while you are not upset. Also, it is crucial not to interrupt, explain, or defend yourself while one partner is talking. After someone finishes speaking, repeat what you heard them say and ask if you understood correctly.
You may want to write down the points so you can go over them later on, and make sure to take turns and repeat the same process with your partner. Also, remember always to keep an open mind when communicating with one another.
Learn More About ADHD
The more you learn about ADHD, the more you will be aware of how it influences your relationship and the reasons for some of the issues.
Remembering that the ADHD brain is wired differently than one without can help the non-ADHD partner take symptoms less personally and help the ADHD partner understand the reasoning behind certain behaviors and take the appropriate steps to manage their symptoms.
Accommodate Each Other
Assign responsibilities in the relationship according to both partners’ strengths and weaknesses. For example, one partner may not be good at properly sorting dishes and putting them in the dishwasher, so doing the laundry may be a more manageable task for them, and the other partner can do the dishes.
Or, if a partner struggles to get started on specific tasks, both partners can work together to create lists or step-by-step instructions.
ADHD can undoubtedly take a toll on relationships, but hopefully, you found at least some of these tips helpful. Also, remember that it takes two to maintain a happy and fulfilling relationship, and sometimes, it may be wise to try relationship counseling if you are facing many issues.
However, It is a good idea to choose a counselor who has experience with ADHD if you decide to take that route.
